It wasn’t really the best way to spend a day off. Ruth left the surgery an hour later than planned, advice booklet in her bag and hospital consultation in her diary. Why were humans so sensitive about their eyes? Maybe because they were so fragile, and so important. Ruth decided not to think about it until the consultation, when no doubt they’d force her to come face to face with all those details. She’d never thought she was squeamish.
A long walk, for the rest of the afternoon, icy wind to blow worries away. The landscape had been clearer, once, hadn’t it? Worth a bit of nervous anticipation if she could appreciate that again. It was only cataracts – quick, routine, low-risk. The level of her health insurance would make it especially easy.
What was harder was the other challenge Tom had set her, to pick up the phone and try a number she hadn’t called in a couple of years.
“Hi, is Emily there?”
“Sure, who is this?”
“Ruth. Her sister.”
Waiting, hearing half of a shouted conversation in the background, until a new voice took over. “Hello, Ruth. What’s this about?”
“I just wondered how you were doing. We haven’t talked in a while.”
“No. What’s prompted this, then?”
Thankfully she'd anticipated the question. “Just been reflecting and realising I haven’t paid nearly enough attention to the family. How are the kids?
“Lou’s kids? Doing really well, Zackie is almost walking now. Mimi is getting to the age where she has interests, she’s currently obsessed with dinosaurs. Are you thinking about seeing them some time, then?”
“I’ve missed that much? Absolutely, I need to see them. Time disappears fast, doesn’t it?”
“Babies grow up fast. Blink and you miss it. That’s the danger of being so busy.”
Ruth sighed. “I’m definitely realising that now. How about… Rosie? And Jack?” She was surprised she could remember the names, to be honest.
“Haven’t seen Rosie in a few years, she’s getting on well in Tokyo though, looks like she’ll be there permanently. Jack and Louis are still fostering, they’ve three right now, the charity trying to place them is still in chaos so who knows what’s going to happen with them in the next few years – they were supposed to be adopted by now. How about you? Still spending all your time bossing around the brainwashed masses?”
Perhaps there was a reason Ruth had missed so much. “I’m still Archbishop of York. Still doing my best, I won’t bore you with details since I know you’re not interested. Starting to feel my age – cateracts consultation booked today.”
“Ah, I was wondering what prompted you to remember my existence.”
Ruth took a deep breath, clenching and unclenching a fist to stop herself from snapping back. “I have plenty of support, if that’s what you’re implying. I just thought it’d be a shame to miss any more years, but if you’re not interested that’s fine, I’ll stop bothering you.”
“Well, it’s not that easy to just walk back, we have things quite comfortable…”
“You still don’t have space for me, then.”
“What do you mean by that?”
Ruth had regretted the words the moment they'd come out of her mouth, but it was too late to take them back. “I’d have loved to be involved in your children’s lives.”
“How'd that have made things for Jack?”
“I’d have liked to get to know them, did I not make that clear? And I’m not entirely sure what you’re trying to imply but I’d never, ever have done anything but support them. You know me, I’m your sister. Yes, I believe in God and you don’t, and my job does involve talking about God, that doesn’t mean I go around making everyone believe the same as me. Give me a chance, Emily.”
“You’ve always been clear about your priorities.”
“Just because they’re different to yours doesn’t mean I don’t care about what you care about. Even if you don’t care about my stuff. But I didn’t ring you up to argue. I’m sorry to have bothered you, since I take it you didn’t want to hear from me. You have my number if you ever need anything. Bye.” She hung up the call, breathing hard, and it took a minute for the adrenaline to drain away. She’d tried, right? There was a reason she and Emily didn’t speak anymore, and she should have remembered that. Was it her fault? Had she been unreasonable?
It was good to be back to work on Tuesday, with the distractions of emails and phone calls. Still fending off the last few questions from the press about the Samantha Karner issue. Ruth made herself a memo to check with Janice, that she was keeping an eye on Samantha. They would have to be careful not to be too quick, though - Samantha would need space to work through the inevitable crowd of emotions. Anger, hurt, bitterness perhaps, sorrow, grief, eventually perhaps repentance. She was probably staying with her parents, maybe a friend; she wasn’t that old, and many people now lived at home to forty, or until their parents died and left them the house. Just like medieval times.
She made another memo to check in with one of the new curates, and emailed Isla to ask her to set up a meeting with the Diocesan Healing Advisor. And then her phone rang, and she grinned at the name on the display. Just what she needed to cheer her up.
“Hi, Tom.”
“Good morning, your Grace…”
“You’re in a fine mood today.”
“I certainly am.” A short pause. “Are you due to rush out to something?”
“Meeting the DDO at eleven, until then nothing. You want a chat, or something in particular?”
“Something in particular… Megan will kill me if I put it off any longer. We’re engaged.”
She stared at her hand just a second. No wonder he sounded so happy. She’d seen it coming, really, just not when. “Congratulations! I’m delighted for you both, my best wishes to Megan.”
She could practically see him bouncing. “Thanks Ruth, I’ll pass it on.”
“You’ve been dating since last summer then? Quietly?”
“I wouldn’t say we’ve been very subtle, the amount of time we spend at each other’s places, but then you’re not local. And yes, since just after Easter. Not long to be getting engaged, maybe, but we’ve talked sensibly, a lot, and we’re very sure. I actually wanted to talk to you about my proposal ideas last time we met, but it didn’t seem appropriate when it came to it, and in the end everything worked out just fine.”
“I’d never have guessed. That you were thinking about it, I mean.”
“I wasn’t, really, it was only an idea in my head when you arrived. I do more than pretend I’m paying attention to you, you know!”
“I do know. So, well, congratulations!”
“Well, we agreed we wanted to stay together forever, to make a bigger commitment. We were also hurried up a bit, because we want to adopt some of the kids we’re looking after, and we want a stable home when we do that, those kids deserve the stablest home they can get. So that prompted us to start talking about marriage a few months before we would have anyway. And now, I rang you up with a question…”
“Yes?” She could guess, probably, but did her best not to assume. Anything she could do for him, she'd be delighted.
“I know there are probably rules, so it might not be appropriate, but if it is then would you marry us?”
She grinned. “Of course. Of course I’d be delighted to. Although you know about my diary, and I would need permission from the incumbent of the church. I don’t know where you want, but that’s unlikely to be an issue… even the Minster, if you fancied it. York or Southwell.”
“Nah, wouldn’t want it. No, there’s a nice church nearby, where Megan goes on Sundays, and I go when I’m not doing visitations and the like. We’ve had quiet words with the incumbent already, he’s open to the fact I have several episcopal connections who I might ask to preside – first and foremost, you. As for dates, we were thinking about summer or early autumn, Megan agreed that if you’ll do it we’ll work to fit your diary.”
“Well… that makes everything much easier. You have a preference for days of the week?”
“Saturday, of course. Friday if we have to, the church doesn’t get many weddings in but obviously Saturdays are popular.”
“I’ll email you dates. Let me know as soon as possible and I’ll make it a hard block in my diary.”
“I’m honoured.”
“There’s no way I’m missing it if I can possibly help it. Obviously once we’ve found a date, we’ll need to schedule two or three preparation sessions – ideally three. Obviously I know you, but I don’t know Megan so well and I don’t know the pair of you together.”
“I know the rules.”
“Of course you do. Are the invitations going to have ‘the Venerable’ on them?”
“Hell no.”
“Good.”
They both laughed.
“Okay, I’ll send you those dates tonight and warn Isla and Kath that I’m going to be stealing a Saturday. Get back to me as soon as possible and I’ll block it in, then we can talk details. Anything particular you've already discussed?”
“Well, we’ve talked about everything. We'd like a Eucharist, I think, and for Steve - Megan's vicar - to deacon, though we haven't asked him yet. And we want to walk in together.”
“Well I’m more than happy with all of that.”
“Excellent. I’ll tell Megan. She’ll be delighted, she remembers you from the camp.”
“Have a wonderful evening – and few weeks, even. See you in… three weeks, is it now? Time flies…”
“It’ll be Lent before we know it. See you then, let me know if you need anything in the meantime.”
“Thank you. And congratulations again.”
Of course she’d seen it coming. She settled down with a book and a mug of camomile tea. You’re old, Ruth, she told herself, and acting it. Oh well, might as well make the most of it, and enjoy watching the young people doing exciting things. Tom, who’d stuck by her side since she’d moved to York, and even before that, who’d always planned everything around her diary. Now building a life of his own.
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