“When you asked whether it was okay to bring a dog, I wondered…”
Ruth shifted bags to free up a hand so she could accept his hug. “Good afternoon to you too, Tom. How are you feeling?”
He attempted to moderate the beam on his face. “A tiny bit nervous, though I have no idea why… and very, very happy. And impatient. And also like I'm dreaming. All the emotions at once, basically. Now come on. Dog.”
Ruth laughed. “This is Dot. She’s a retired sheepdog – you can see she has a bit of a limp. Nine years old, perfectly behaved and always happy. Like… the opposite of most of the clergy I deal with.”
He laughed, crouched down to fuss the dog, admiring her gleaming fur, with the light greying around her nose. Border collies were pretty dogs, and this was a great ambassador for her breed, tongue lolling happily as she soaked up the attention. “So what prompted this then?”
“Isla. We had a pastoral sit-down, and she made a passing comment about the value of pets as something to come home to that isn't work. That kind of stuck, as a real practical suggestion. I’ve always wanted a dog, so why not get one? And Dot was in need of a good home, so I got lucky. Feels rather appropriate, too - bishop as shepherd, with crook and sheepdog. Everything just worked out perfectly.” she looked past him. “And is this someone you should introduce me to?”
He straightened up quickly. “Oh, yeah. Ruth, meet Mars, my… soon to be son. Mars, this is Ruth, we used to work together.”
She nodded in greeting. “Hi, Mars. I’ve seen your picture a few times, but never met you.”
Mars stuck close by Tom’s side, and Tom put an arm around his shoulders. “Liza and Mika are with Megan, who is getting her hair done or something. We had a good rehearsal yesterday, with Steve. It’s all as you’d expect anyway - especially given you're the one who put the liturgy together! And we’ve trained Mars up to be your chaplain.”
She looked down with a smile. “Excellent. And I know that’ll be good training. Shall we do a quick check in the church, Mars, just to make sure we both know what we’re doing?”
He nodded quickly, and she turned to unload the car, Dot sticking close by her heels.
“I still can't believe you got a dog.” Tom tried to take her case, but she held it out of reach, and offered the crozier to Mars.
“Okay chaplain. You’re going to take that for me?”
Mars did as he was told, slightly taken aback by the weight but getting it under control quickly, and Tom grinned to see him check that it was the right way round – all those little details, which he had held in his mind for service after service. Things Ruth would notice.
“Dog. Yes.” She answered him in the end. “Far more interesting than me, I’ve noticed that already, the whole of Bishopthorpe’s obsessed. I was a bit in two minds, didn’t want to get a pet and then leave them alone, but actually she lies under my desk in the office, and goes with me to pretty much everything, not that she has a problem with being left alone for a few hours. It’s the best decision I ever made. When she gets up to stretch I know I need to move a bit too. I take her for walks before morning prayer and at lunchtime, and then a proper hike in the evening. Or earlier, if I have a function. And then on days off, we go up hills together, it’s good to have a companion. She’s a bright girl, too, I’m currently teaching her to genuflect…”
Tom snorted. “Of course you are.”
Ruth shrugged. “Well, why not? She’s a collie, she likes learning new skills.”
“Anyway, did you say you were leaving the office at lunchtime? And in the evening?”
“Um, I did say I had a pastoral sit-down with Isla, didn’t I? She had a - very justified - go at me.”
He sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry, I promised I was going to get you onto my sofa. What did I miss?”
“I think you can guess.” She shrugged again, self-consciously. “Isla did her best, and that gave me the strength to seek out someone who could help me with the rest. That person wasn't you, this time.”
“I'm glad you found someone.”
“So am I.” She paused in the doorway and held out a hand to the priest. “Steve? Hi, Ruth. Thanks for welcoming me.”
“Archbishop, welcome. Do come in.”
“Do you mind dogs inside? I can vouch for her good behaviour.”
“Oh no, of course not…”
“Thank you.” Ruth beamed at him. “So, I gather you’ve been doing all the hard work already, and that you've agreed to deacon, thank you so much. If we can get settled, I'd appreciate a quick run through the service sheet… and a chance to check some things with this young man here.” She shot Mars a smile, and he beamed back. And then they reached the sanctuary, and she looked at Dot and genuflected towards the tabernacle, and the dog dipped onto an elbow too. Ruth grinned and fussed her.
“Well done, Dot. Clever girl!”
Tom shook his head at her. “Who are you and what have you done with Ruth Harwood?”
Ruth rolled her eyes. “Go stress about your pending nuptials. Who’s got the rings? You going to be needing a last-minute dash to the jeweller’s?”
He rolled his eyes back at her. “Liza has them. She’s responsible. Currently helping Megan get ready, apparently I’m not allowed…”
“Well of course you’re not, you'd only get in the way and stress people out. Dot, lie down.” She put her case on the table in the vestry, opened it and removed vestments to shake out and hang up one by one. And then she turned to face him. “Okay, Tom, all silliness aside, I’m really happy for you. I’ve been looking forward to it for months, through… everything that’s happened. I know you’ve been through so much recently, both you and Megan, and I hope that this will be one of the happiest days of both of your lives. And... I’d ask you to get out of the vestry and go be a normal bridegroom, but I know you well enough to know that won’t happen, so I’m just going to suggest you find a clothes brush and remove the dog hair from your trousers.”
He looked down. “I should definitely have thought of that.”
“It’s a peril.”
He crouched down and picked off the white strands carefully. “I knew it was dangerous, getting dressed so far before the service. Should have just worn a cassock after all, but Liza wouldn’t let me.”
“She sounds eminently sensible.” Ruth finished buttoning her own cassock. “Okay, Mars, I’ll take that if you’ll carry this, let’s go find the vicar and check we know what we’re doing…”
Tom sat in a pew, for a while, watching with admiration as Mars modelled all that Tom had taught him – which way round the hold the crozier, to pass the mitre, how high to hold the order of service so that Ruth could read it clearly, all the things Tom knew Ruth cared about. Growing more confident, starting to do more than just answer questions, to ask his own.
The church was starting to fill, and he was distracted by greetings. Glance back to the door to see Megan’s brother Lucas handing out orders of service.
“Tom! Hi! Haven’t seen you in so long!”
He grinned, accepted hugs and handshakes. Ruth and Mars had disappeared back into the vestry, and he stood up to make his way up to the west end, to slip out of the door and wait there, with a crowd growing around him eager to see the arrival of the bride. So many familiar faces, and so many unfamiliar. There was his bishop, and old Michael, well and truly retired… Megan’s parents, over there, awakening the pang he’d felt so many times during preparations…
I hope you’re watching, mum… and I’m sorry you’re not here. It was a long way from home, from the field where she and Mick lay in the ground… but she’d have wanted him to go on living. And here he was, living. Still, he slipped a hand into his breast pocket and took out the photograph, just a peek. And the other photo behind it, of Megan with Justin in her arms, and all the other children around. Silly little things, but it was good to have them with him.
He felt a hand on his elbow and looked round to meet Ruth’s eyes, feeling the sympathy with which she squeezed his shoulder and then leant in to whisper in his ear. “They’re watching, somewhere.”
He nodded. “Thanks.” Above their heads, the clock chimed the hour. He glanced past Ruth to see Mars, solemn in acolyte’s robe, standing beside Ruth and half a step behind. Met his eyes and grinned, and then jerked his head back round towards the road at the stir of excitement.
An ordinary enough car, but transformed with pink and white ribbons. Pulling up at the gate, door opening, a flash of colour darting out and up the path to cling to his leg. He reached down to take Mika’s hand, not looking away as a young woman stepped out of the car, bouquet in hand, turned, and offered her arm…
Stay where you are, Tom. Stand still, right where you are… no, walk towards her, as guests were ushered into the church, a stream of drifting shadows. And he stopped, halfway down the path, and he held out a hand to her, and she took it.
“You,” he whispered, “are perfect. In every way.”
She smiled slightly. “I said I wouldn’t wear a dress, but…” she held out the white skirt, adorned with a twist of multi-coloured fabric flowers. “Liza’s work. Found the dress in a charity shop, and then we… each of the flowers is from someone from the camps, residents and volunteers. Some of them made several. It’s like… I didn’t expect it. And Liza’s a genius.”
“You deserve it.” He turned, froze a second. Was that a face, over by the bins, a movement? No, probably not, just imagination. He crooked his elbow for her. “Come on, then. Let’s do this properly.”
A glimmer of sunlight snuck through a cloud, and for a second the back of Ruth’s cope glittered. “Please stand, for the bride and groom.” So serious, until she glanced round, with that big stupid grin on her face. The organ struck up, and the couple paused in the doorway.
Megan glanced at Tom. “Ready?”
“With you, always.” Oh so very ready, to walk up that aisle, approaching the altar together. To forget all intentions to pay attention and commit everything to memory, instead to drift through in a haze of emotion, grateful for the tissue in his pocket.
Surely God was smiling, as they stepped out into a burst of summer sun and a swirl of confetti? The ring on his finger gleaming and new… and then Mika, running circles around him, threatening to trip him over until he picked her up and balanced her on his hip, marvelling as he always did at even that simple motion and all it entailed. He looked back, up to the church, at the crowd gathered outside the door to cheer. And he looked without thinking for those who were missing, but then wasn’t that always the way?
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